There is this slang term that urbanites bandy about: ‘baby mama’. For those who might be slightly over the hill, it does not refer to a child who has suddenly become a mother. It means a woman who has your child but who you aren’t currently involved with. In the same breath, a ‘baby daddy’ what a woman would call a man who she has fathered a child with, but who she isn’t involved with. Yes, the new generation tries to garnish broken things with fancy words. Baby mamas don’t become baby mamas by peeling potatoes. Men make them baby mamas – men who realise they aren’t ready, think they made the wrong choice, were drunk or just couldn’t get along with her after the baby came. Chastity is out of fashion There are more baby mamas now than they were in 1970, fundamentally because men have no qualms about walking away from their children, and because women no longer wait for marriage to lose their virginity.
Chastity – regrettably – has become as fashionable as bellbottoms.
There is a new generation of guys who imagine it’s trendy to have a child with women they aren’t with. To them, it’s a show of virility, or something akin to a fashion statement – like getting a hat because John from two houses down got himself one. There is also a new breed of modern woman who doesn’t mind being a baby mama; women who have made the decision not to get married but want to have a baby before their ovaries shrivel. These women are clear about what they want from a man: His seed. They want to harvest it from him, then he’s free to leave if he desires. The boot is on the other foot. We have been accustomed to women who would get pregnant to tie down a man. Now they will get pregnant to free a man.
Our great grandfathers wouldn’t survive these interesting times. But it’s not even their motives that is quite shocking, but the cold, calculating manner with which they execute their mission. Replaced by a fertility clinic They pick on the guys who apparently have the right attributes – intelligence, decent looks, good background and all that jazz. Then they bide their time and move in for the kill, never letting the man know exactly what they are after.
I had a chat with one of these women last week. I met her through a mutual friend. She had a six-month-old belly and didn’t really care where the father was. And she has never been happier. She, a 35-year-old woman with a fairly decent job, justified her decision by saying that, “Men have stopped serving any purpose other than to provide seed.” The guy seated next to me gasped. “So, how do you pick the right guy? I mean, how do you know there isn’t a history of night-running in their family? Or worse, sorcery?” I asked her, to which she replied that great patience is needed to be sure that the man is the right fit, which means she can “lay low” observing the man and his family tree for as long as six months before finally deciding to execute the last part of her plan. I was impressed at her shrewdness. And somewhat horrified at her selfishness.
The bottom line, it seemed to me, was that we are only as good as our genes. Women have no use for us anymore other than to procreate, which some of us are struggling with because of our love for the drink. In another decade they won’t even need us at all. They will walk into a fertility clinic and go through an album of potential ‘fathers’ of their unborn child as they suck on a lollipop. The tragedy is that we are slowly becoming irrelevant, because apart from doing the heavy lifting and changing that odd bulb, woman can pretty much get for themselves what man can give them.
That should be enough to make us..Men, sit up and take notice.