Posts Tagged ‘funny’

A whole village in China confused a rubber vagina for a rare mushroom. The double headed sex toy was thought to be a mystical rare fungus that grows underground and has ability to give immortality. When villagers from Liucunbu, a rural community outside western Chinese city of Xi’an encountered the ‘rare mushroom’ when drilling a well shaft, they alerted a local news station which immediately sent Yunfeng Ye to cover this once in a lifetime discovery.

Ye, the reporter, interviewed different people and even a few who were considered very knowledgeable on such matters. On her final report, she also included vast amount of research she had undertaken on the ‘mushroom’ in question. The report opens with Ye proclaiming the discovery of the mysterious object, the likes of which “not even an 80-year-old local man has seen.”
“It has an eye and a nose, but we don’t know what it is,” said a man at the scene.

At the end of the report, Ye and the villagers finally proclaimed the ‘mushroom’ to be a type of lingzhi, a shelf fungus of the Ganoderma lucidum species. She added, “When the Emperor Qin Shi Huang [the First emperor of China] was on the hunt for the secret to longevity, it is said he discovered this lingzhi was the answer.”

As with any other news story, that was supposed to be the end of it, except that this was not any other news story. Some viewers immediately recognized that the ‘rare mushroom’ was infact a sex toy modeled after female genitalia. The video went viral and most comments lauded the villagers, reporter’s and entire station’s purity.

The station later issued an apology. “Our program last night made everyone laugh, Our reporter is very young and sheltered.”

A 16-year-old girl did the unthinkable when she mistakenly confused marijuana for vegetables and prepared them for dinner.
This baffling incidence occurred in Kiarimui Township, Runyenjes, Embu County. Courtesy of
Njeru, a high school teacher, is an enthusiastic farmer whose shamba flourishes with vegetables both during the rain and dry seasons. The vegetables are indigenous and of unique varieties — some from as far as Western Kenya.
That particular evening, his wife requested her niece who had come visiting for the holidays to get the vegetables as she prepared ugali. However, her niece, Jackie, was not conversant with most vegetable varieties and was reportedly, eager to try out any vegetable plant that she stumbled on.
However, when the food was ready, something peculiar happened. The lastborn child, who was the first to be served, started smiling after a few bites and fell into deep sleep.
The others, who ate with relish, also kept smiling sheepishly, apart from Jackie since she was eating her ugali with sour milk.
Shortly after, the smiles graduated into helpless laughter. Something as petty as a lizard darting across the wall would send the whole family reeling with laughter.
“Finish up, we need to go to bed,” Jackie said innocently, sending her cousins wild with laughter.
Drama escalated when the head of the family suddenly became irritable. Out of the blue, he attacked his wife, complaining that she was overworking his niece.
This agitated his wife who tried to defend herself. But when Njeru raised his hand to slap her, like her sons, she burst into uncontrollable laughter. Nevertheless, she still hurled a few choice insults at him
According to Jackie, the whole situation started generating into an absurd movie. The air was filled with unreasonable shrills and shrieks forcing her to scream for help.
Some of the family’s immediate neighbours who quickly responded were heard whispering about a curse having befallen the family. Others talked of witchcraft and ghosts.
But a village elder who was present suggested that the family seek medical attention. Njage, a neighbour, quickly rushed them to a nearby dispensary in the family car. Not that it was easy herding the laughing lot into the car.
At the dispensary, the nurse, after carrying out elementary tests, demanded to know what they had eaten. Jackie described the meal she had prepared and was asked to get a sample of the ‘vegetable’ before treatment could commence because according to a nurse, their meal contained a hard drug.
A close associate of Njeru later disclosed to Crazy Monday that the schoolteacher has been secretly growing marijuana in some secluded parts of his shamba. No one knew it. Not even his wife of 12 years.
While marijuana is a banned drug, few Kenyans know how it looks like.

High school students have been known to plant it in flowerbeds right beneath the Principals’ noses while many housewives only learn the strange looking herb on the farms is contraband when their husbands get arrested

By Evelyne Njeru for the standard.

A Kao’s recount of that incident some time back….Recall that Machakos country bus
blast? There was a Kao guy there,
having soda. Here is his recount of
what happened when interviewed by
some Tv guys.

Reporter: Briefly tell us what happend
here at Machakos country bus.

Mutunga: kusema okweli siyawai sikia
mulivuko kama usu! nilikua ninakunda
kasota vaya kwa ile kivanda ya
kokokola nikingoyea ile mbasi ya kule
kwetu inaitangwa katethya usu.
Nakwambia vunda si vunde, kuvumba
na kuvumbua, vulombox ya white
ilikua na ioo ndinted ikalucha kivulusi
ambacho nilisuku ni manguluneti ya
mbomu, kwasavavu vile ililusya, ata
siyui niseme aye!
nilisikia Tua… Tua… Tuaaaaa! kusitukia
nilikuta kwa ngunia ya makovisi huku
kwa ngeiti ya muthulwa…! kuangalia
kwa mkono,asiisi…! Supa ya sota
hakuna…! Siyui nitaambia mwenye
nduka aye.! Kwa sambambu aliachwa
na ndivositi yangu na supa yake
imelivuliwa na io mulivuko…tavathali
naomba silikali ituangalie
tukombenzeitiwe… mimi
wenyu Mutunga.

Not to make fun of the incident…or in any way belittle it…bt the accent was too much to pass…Laugh..or at least smile ..